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Hello and welcome to this safehaven. In a world filled with busy people focused on their day-to-day lives, it can be difficult to find someone with whom you feel comfortable sharing your trauma, grief, loss, experience of being with someone who is dying, Near Death Experience (NDE), Shared Death Experience (SDE), Spiritually Transformative Experience (STE), and/or other experience that others find incomprehensible.
I can relate to this. When a Shared Death Experience (SDE) showed up in my life unexpectedly 24 years ago at the age of 33, I naively thought family members would be thrilled to hear that my mother received an enthusiatic welcome into heaven despite her rejection of the God of her Pentacostal unbringing. [click here for details regarding this SDE #SDE]
My naive hopes were quickly dashed. The news was not welcomed by my family nor by the many churchgoers where I resided in the Bible Belt community. I quickly learned why people who had experienced an NDE kept it to themselves or only spoke of it in whispers.
Back then, in 1998, there were few Internet resources to consult about unusual spiritual experiences and while psychiatrist Dr. Raymood Moody published Life After Life in 1975, which brought Near Death Experiences (NDEs) into the public light, he had not yet published Glimpses of Eternity: An Investigation into Shared Death Experiences (SDEs), so I did not know that others had experienced SDEs. I kept it to myself unless I was in the very rare company of someone who might possibly understand. [if you are wondering if you may have had an SDE, click here for information regarding SDEs #SDE]
Thankfully, the counselor I had been seeing for a couple years to help heal past trauma, including the divorce of my parents when I was 5 years old and the death of my brother when we were teenagers, understood. Her own spiritual experiences as a Christian mystic and multi-cultural seeker provided her the ability to relate. She helped me to begin integrating my experience in heaven and the portal of connection the SDE served to establish into my daily life; however, residing in a community surrounded by those who could not relate presented challenges as I tried to live by my new values and understanding. [blog posts on this topic coming soon]
Following the NDE/SDE, it is common for family, friends, and coworkers to expect that the NDE/SDE experiencer will be able to put it aside and go back to being who they used to be; however, I found that there are some bridges in life that once crossed cannot be undone...and that which has been revealed cannot be forgotten or denied. [click here for common changes that take place after NDE/SDE has been experienced and reactions of loved ones #NDE #SDE]
Recalling that my father had a Near Death Experience (NDE) during his first heart attack when I was 20 years old helped somewhat. My dad's NDE significantly changed his priorities and choices in life and from that point forward, he no longer feared death to the degree that he chose not have heart surgery, instead choosing to live his life to the fullest for another 14 years. [Click here for blog post regarding his NDE #NearDeathExperience #NDE] [Click here for information regarding NDEs #NearDeaathExpeicnes #NDE]
For 24 years my life choices and the trajectory of my life have vacillated with me sometimes focused back on worldly things in the sea of daily demands. Other times, opportunities to walk alongside others with similar beliefs have arrived and aided me with nurturing the spiritual aspects and possibilities that opened up as a consequence of the SDE. [click here for a list of authors, spiritual teachers, books, Bible studies, and a rapid belief change modality that have all served to continue to inspire my journey as well as a list of related Blog Writings]
My entire life I dreamed of becoming a mother. So, when I learned that conception was unlikely to occur due to infertility issues in my mid-thirties, I garnered the can-do "where there's a will, there's a way" attitude of my mother and set out determined to conceive in my own body, which was unable to do so without multiple medical interventions...as I look back now, I see that it was a sign that my perfectionistic, overpleasing, perfect employee and wife personality was taking a toll on the health of my body, but I could not see it then... [click here for writings regarding infertility and the path to finally conceiving #infertility].
Following the birth of our mostly healthy baby, we were able to conceive again twice, but both were destined for miscarriage...yet another sign from my body that my overdoing and my perfectionistic striving needed to change. Yet again, my mind dismissed this message and it got lost in the constant sea of chattering thoughts of "I should...", "I have to...", "I need to..." It was with the second inevitable miscarriage that I found myself having a second Shared Death Experience (SDE) when the spirit of the baby departed from my body and my spirit accompanied that sweet spirit back into the heavenly realms. [click here for blog post regarding this SDE/miscarriage #shareddeathexperience #SDE #miscarriage]
When our firstborn was little, I strived to be the perfect wife and mother. I had clear expectations of what that should look like, and I dedicated all my human resources to achieve these goals. What I didn't know is that no matter how hard I tried, it is not possible for one person to carry the weight of an entire family and continue to be in an optimal state of health. The stress of pretending everything was fine when it wasn't and constantly pushing my body to the limit each day resulted in a thyroid-related illness and adrenal burn-out. My ability to fulfill basic wife/mother duties plummeted, as did my brain's ability to think. Bedridden and faced with medical advice that did not feel right to my intuition, the journey with the hope of healing through faith began, but would require far more of me than I could foresee... [click here for blog post regarding physical healing through faith #faithhealing #thyroid #hyperthyroid #hypothyroid #burnedout adrenals]
Following the first miscarriage, my intuition whispered of adoption, yet I could not see how it could be possible with my choice of being a stay-at-home mom placing financial stress on our family. After the second miscarriage, my husband asked me if I was open to adoption. With both of us receiving the same guidance, we began saving money...it would take 5 years to save the money and after investigating several possible avenues, adoption from China emerged as the Divinely-guided choice...yet finding him would require patience and faith... [click here for blog post #adoption #internationaladoption #faith #intuition #miscarriage]
While over the years I have feared what others will think of me, I find myself guided that it is time to share these experiences with others, as this sharing is meant to bring comfort, relief, and healing to those who are suffering.
If the information on this website provides comfort to you, I am glad. If there is information that resonates with you while other information does not, it is with respect and regard that I suggest that you take what resonates with you and leave that which does not.
This is a place to discover what is possible in our humanness as we grow in the realization shared by French Jesuit priest Pierre Teilhard de Chardin: "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience."
I invite you to explore what I know from experience: We are not alone, and there is a wealth of departed loved ones, angels, and Divinely Ordained guides and teachers (aka Holy Spirit) who watch over us and await our invitation for them to help us and counsel and guide us. Yes, as Dr. Scott Peck stated in the first line of The Road Less Traveled, "Life is difficult," but with the Divine walking alongside us, it becomes an adventurous hero's journey of everincreasing peace that passes understanding along with ever increasing communion with All That Is Loving, Benevolent, and Altruistic.